Friday, December 11, 2009

Profit Prevention Tour (Australia) - Proper Bogans

After hanging around Newcastle for a few days I caught a train down to Sydney to kick it with the awesome Marcus Carcass. Our first couple days were spent on the (notorious) Bondi beach swimming off the rocks in the most beautiful water! Crystal clear, and full of green mossy rocks and fish. We saw a seagull dive-bomb a dog repeatedly for about five minutes; each time screeching as it plunged and the dog barking in response. so funny! Some not so awesome people on the beach as well that really aren't worth mentioning.

Once we got all the swimming out of our system we headed up to the blue mountains with Dan and stayed the night in this awesome house right on the edge of the woods. I'm pretty sure I heard a Wallaby hopping around in the backyard... and apparently there was a Possum crawling on the awning overhead when I was asleep, though I didn't hear that. The next morning we hiked on the Wentworth pass, looked out at Govetts leap, and walked through an obnoxious group of tourists to see the Three Sisters. Saw a whole flock of cockatoos on our 3 hour hike down the mountain(they are the craziest, LOUDEST birds ever). and when i ran naked into a waterfall thinking that no one was around, a group of people walked out from behind a rock. I tried to run, tripped and fell naked into the water in front of everyone.

I refuse to be embarrassed.

We headed back down the mountain later that day, and the next morning I caught a rideshare with an annoying old hippie dude up to Lismore. I literally clung to the door handle for almost the entire 7 1/2 hour drive because he was driving like a maniac. and while he was flying around corners and almost smacking into the backs of other cars he was saying that THEY were the bad drivers. so scary.

Had a crazy, drunk Bogan come in and out of my room while I was sleeping which made my first night here interesting. He kept walking through and mumbling "wherrrre'sss that amerrrrican boyy" while I huddled in the dark corner hoping not to be seen. terrible.

Went to the animal park today here in Lismore and a kangaroo was so nice as to let me pet him for a good while! he was so cute, we named him roy. he loves green leafy vegetables and hopping. We didn't want to pay to get in so Joseph and I made a running leap over the fence and ran off into the park. amazingly NO ONE saw us do it, which I'm still surprised about.
Afterward swam in the quarry with the boyz and jumped off a 10 meter (30 ft) rock and nearly dislocated my shoulder again. so rad!

Watched The Castle, and about to watch Cracker Jack - both great representations of modern Australian culture I'm told. Making a cake, excited for the show tomorrow and missing home.

"He's dreeeeeamin",
Mike XVX

p.s. I haven't uploaded photos in awhile but they'll be coming your way soon. be patient!


ohfuckgod said...

hahahahahahahaha...... i can't believe you didn't tell me about that naked part.

i don't think you should be embarrassed, but i also don't think you shouldn't expect me to laugh (probably at you) about it for a very long time.

Anonymous said...

wild cockatoos?? i am so jealous. i've only ever met the super sad plucked ones from the sb bird sanctuary, but they are so great.